You’ve spent hours working out the reception seating plan (“We can’t put Cousin Fred next to Vera-from-work. He shoots pheasants for fun and she’s a strict vegan…”) but no one ever mentioned the church. At least, not until the rehearsal, when one of the ushers asked exactly what they had to do. Um, give out orders of service and show people to their seats. And um…
It’s probably better to work it all out in advance and hopefully this wedding photographers guide to wedding ceremony seating will help!
So who sits where?
Traditionally ushers ask if a guest is “bride” or “groom” but the rules aren’t so rigid these days. A quick pinterest session reveals a huge variety of “Choose a seat not a side” signs. Not all families are huge and it’s a good idea to balance the pews. If that’s what you decide then make sure the ushers know all seats are available, except for the first few rows on both sides for closest family members and wedding party. You could put a name card on each reserved seat to make absolutely sure theres no confusion.
Seating Family
In traditional Christian ceremonies, the bride’s family and friends are seated on the left side of the church (facing the altar) with Groom’s family and friends on the right.
The parents of the bride sit in the first pew or row on the left, the groom’s parents sit in the first row on the right, leaving the two spaces closest to the aisle for the groom and best man. Space permitting, extra chairs may be placed in front of the right hand pews for the groom and best man. The groom’s close family sit in the second pew behind the groom. Bridesmaids share the front left-hand pew with the bride’s parents.
At a same-sex ceremony each family can be assigned a side and guests seated accordingly.
Widowed parents may prefer to have someone by their side during the ceremony, in which case their companion is treated as an honored guest.
Make sense so far? Fab! Now it gets a little trickier…
Divorced parents. Plan it carefully, let everyone know in advance and give the ushers clear instructions. This could be the perfect time to get those ‘reserved seat’ name cards printed. Divorced parents may or may not get along, or the bride/groom may be closer to one parent than the other. Whatever the situation, top diplomacy skills will be vital for avoiding a potentially stressful situation.
In the lucky event that everyone gets along, there’s no reason why divorced parents cannot share the front row. But if that’s not possible the following seating plan is the norm:
Using the bride’s parents as an example, her mother (and stepfather, if Mum has remarried) sit in the front row. Members of Mum’s immediate family—the bride’s grandparents, any siblings who aren’t attendants, and aunts, uncles, and their spouses—sit immediately behind in the next rows. The bride’s father, after escorting his daughter up the aisle and presenting her to the groom, sits in the next row behind the bride’s mother’s family, with his wife and their family members etc. This protocol is followed even if the bride’s father is hosting the wedding.
When the groom’s parents are divorced, they’re seated in the same manner.
Other Guests:
Elderly and/or disabled guests should be seated as far forward as possible and at the end of an aisle so that they have easy access.
Toddlers get bored and babies get hungry (and noisy!) so it’s practical to seat guests with young children at the end of an aisle and as close to the exit as possible.
Choose a side
Of course it’s fine to be much more informal and let guests choose which side they’d like to sit. But the front seats should still be reserved for close family, to make sure they will have a good view and also so that your wedding photographer has a good view of them!
So when should everyone be seated?
As a general rule no one (except for the ushers) should enter the church until 30 minutes before the ceremony is due to start.
Immediate family (meaning the reserved seats in the first few rows on both sides) are then seated first, except for the family members who are being escorted down the aisle.
All other guests should then be shown to their seats in good time before the start of the ceremony. Ushers may have to ‘ush’ quite determinedly here as some guests might want to stay outside to see the bride’s car arrive (not allowed!) and others might realise it’s their last chance to smoke for the next hour!
5 minutes prior to the ceremony the groom’s mother is escorted to her seat. The groom’s father follows and sits next to her.
The bride’s mother usually waits with the bridesmaids at the church door until the arrival of the bride. The bride’s mother is the last to be shown to her seat before the ceremony begins. Her entrance is a cue to the groom that the bride has arrived!
Do we need official ushers?
Not necessarily, but they are useful for crowd control! The general guide is 1 usher/helper for every 50 guests, so family members could step in and assist in getting everyone to a seat, especially older guests who might need extra help. Either way they should be first to arrive at the church, about 45 minutes before the ceremony, then make sure that everyone has an order of service and hymn book etc. It’s also a good idea if they are familiar with the running order of the day as there are bound to be questions.
So there you have it. A short guide to seating in church, courtesy of your friendly Cornwall wedding photographer! And if you’re still not sure, just have a chat to your vicar. After all it’s their church!